7 Ways to Prevent Holiday Burnout if You’re an Adult ADHDer
The holidays can be such an emotional roller coaster — along with the joys of the season often comes tremendous pressure. Laughter may coexist with feelings of grief and/or heartache. And the shift in routines can be particularly disruptive to ADHD folks.
You may be more prone to holiday burnout and need to protect yourself and your time more vigilantly if you’re an ADHDer. As we enter the holiday season, it’s more important than ever to be able to identify your burnout triggers. Some common ones include sensory overload (hello, holiday gatherings!), changes to your routine, travel, ADHD masking, and the need for consistent focus or organizational skills. It’s tough to wrap up work before holiday break, meet deadlines, and fit parties and gatherings into your social calendar! If you’re suspecting you’re on the brink of burnout, do what you can to limit your exposure to your burnout triggers, and prioritize self-care.
Here are 7 different ways to prevent holiday burnout if you’re an ADHDer:
Do Less
With ADHD comes a beautiful proclivity for creativity and joyful spontaneity. You may have lots of creative ideas for celebrating this year, but you struggle to take the initiative or follow through to make it all happen. That is okay.
You may feel like you’ve failed yourself or your family if you start a holiday project but don’t see it all the way through. Rather than letting your self-esteem take a hit, may I suggest a different approach?
Do less to begin with.
Doing less doesn’t mean you’re less capable, less worthy, or less “impressive.” It just means that you’re safeguarding your time and energy to focus on what really matters to you this holiday season.
Maybe you love to decorate your home for the holidays. Or you love to bake cookies and also send out holiday cards. Rather than trying to do all the things, choose one or two that matter most to you and your family. If you do less, you may feel that your nervous system isn’t as overwhelmed.
Embrace the downtime. If you don’t overpromise, you’ll free up more space to be joyful, spontaneous, and most importantly, present.
Recognize and Honor Your Limitations
Have an honest conversation with yourself about what you can realistically take on this season. Maybe it’s just not possible to go see the Nutcracker and visit Grandma and Grandpa, and have your extended family over for holiday tea… and go ice skating, and…
Choose your commitments wisely. Recognize that you have energy, time, and financial limitations. Don’t feel guilty for saying no.
Honor your financial as well as your energy limitations. Shop strategically for those on your shopping list. Is it better for you to shop online so you don’t have to face the bustling crowds? Is it easier for you to do your gift shopping all at once so you’re not task-switching?
Don’t Compare Yourself to What You See on Social Media
I don’t know about you, but being on social media from Halloween to the New Year makes me feel very behind in life. November 1st rolls around and influencers already have their holiday decorations up. And by Thanksgiving, everyone’s finished shopping for presents.
Influencers get paid by brands to post about their products — and oftentimes they are expected to do this far in advance of Christmas or Hanukkah. This is so their followers will have the most time to purchase these products! It’s not because they are more organized or better than you — it’s because it’s their job.
If you notice you’re feeling bad about yourself, take a moment to check in about your social media habits, too. Are you scrolling through TikTok in your downtime and feeling worse about your life?
Influencers' homes often look uninhabited and way too clean. That’s because so much of the content you’re seeing is staged! Set boundaries around social media usage. Doing so will help you avoid the urge to overcommit, overpromise, or overspend during the holidays.
You don’t have to keep up with the glitz and glam – much of what you’re seeing is not real life.
Reduce Stimulation
If you have ADHD, you may feel particularly overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of the holidays. All of the bright lights, sounds, crowds, busy shopping malls, crowded restaurants, and loud music playing in stores can lead to sensory overload. You may suddenly become exhausted or irritated. You may feel the need to escape the overwhelming environments. You might even become emotionally dysregulated because the stimuli is so overwhelming.
You can take small steps, like bringing ear plugs if you’re going to be somewhere noisy, or setting yourself a time limit before attending a gathering.
Prioritize a Healthy Routine
It’s always my go-to first strategy, but make sure you’re prioritizing sleep, exercise, and healthy eating (easier said than done when there are three different kinds of pie at grandma’s house!). Try to do all you can to set yourself up for success. Maybe this means setting out your workout clothes the night before so you can get your run in first thing in the morning. Maybe it means creating a down-time alarm for an hour before bedtime so you can remember to start winding down your day. Having a morning and evening routine you can stick to is key during this busy time of year.
Try the Spoon Theory
Have you heard of the spoon theory?
Christine Miserandino came up with the spoon theory to describe her experience living with lupus. It’s a good way to think about your energy levels and how much you can realistically take on in any given day.
The idea is that at the start of each day, you have a certain number of spoons. You assign spoons to all of your daily tasks, depending on how much energy it takes to do the task. Cooking an elaborate dinner, for example, might take up more spoons than making breakfast.
The spoon theory allows you to be flexible and recognize that your energy, time, and other limitations (such as chronic pain) fluctuate on a daily basis.
As an ADHDer, you can try using the spoon theory to plan out your holiday calendar. The kids’ holiday play might use up three spoons, while a movie night at home might use up only one. Use the spoon theory to help you be realistic about what you can cram into each day — because maybe you don’t want all of your spoons to be used up by the end of the night!
Seek Support
As always, we at California Integrative Counseling Center are here to support you and your neurodivergent needs. We specialize in therapy for adult ADHD as well as other forms of neurodivergence, and we would love to help you build a little extra self-care into your routine this holiday season.
We hope these tips will help you prevent holiday burnout. You may even find that weekly therapy gives you an extra spoon as opposed to taking one away! Please feel free to schedule a free 20-minute consultation call and we will get in contact to see if our services are a good fit for you.
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